"Oh wow! Kids, come look at this!"
"I was cleaning out the attic and found your great-uncles old diary from when he was a teenager!"
Today I did absolutely nothing. My life is a meaningless void of jacking off to gay porn, hiding my bisexuality from my family and trying to convince my girlfriend that I don't want to be a trap. Existence truly is pain. I wanted to buy the CPAP mask I need to end it all, but rent was due and I got the most adorable new Ryuko body pillow. My god, do I love Ryuko.
Yours truly, Sue Donym.