Reimu. You are nothing but a weak, scared, vulnerable and pathetic little girl. We both know this is a lie. You will not stop drinking, you can't.
This whole affair of yours with the Spanish will not work, and you are the only one who is stupid enough to think that it will. It is a bomb that will inevitably explode, likely rather soon. And what then? You deleted your Discord and left those who cared for you. You have no friends anymore. You isolated yourself, you have nobody left. Once things go wrong, and they will go wrong, you will be alone once again.
And you deserve all of it. You never learn, you never try to learn. You are the one doing all of this to yourself, and you will keep doing it until nobody is left to care for you because you push away everyone who once did. You will be alone, abandoned. Your only friends will be the cigarettes and bottles you use to hide all your terrors and insecurities.
You will never in your life be happy, and that's your fault alone. It's how it should be, it's how it's going to be. And you know all of this. Behind that masquerade of a niceposter there is someone who's terrified, lonely, cold, abandoned, and who desperatedly tries to hide it all. You are alone, will live alone, and will die alone. You jump from man to man, just looking for whoever pays the most attention to you at any given time and then moving on without any remorse or second thought: first the German, then the Argentinian, now the Spanish. You cannot genuinely love, and you will never be genuinely loved. You will never settle down with a husband. You will never hold your own children in your arms. You will be nothing more than an object, a toy for other people to take advantage of and then toss aside. You cannot escape it, it's who you are and who you will be until the day you pass away and are forgotten.