I live for a fantasy, a dream where I have normal human relationships and atlast someone who loves me holds me cries for me. Im not a happy person and thinking of this dream hurts more than it is possible to be reality but the mere possibility is enough to make me keep trying.
The though part is if you dont even have this dream anymore, but maybe without a dream you can find peace and be earnestly happy. But in the end I think I dont really know if this is even possible. Everybody has a dream or atleast a concept they want to achieve and the hurt and anguish of being in a state not fulfilling this is why we are depressed. So my suggestion is trying just try whatever and observe the results.