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Comet is headed toward Earth

No.7826420 ViewReplyOriginalReport
A comet is on a collision course with the earth. First off - backstory, we should have died in July of 1994. Thanks to Jupiter's fat ass, that planet decided to suck in the comet that would have destroyed the planet. However, a new comet has already passed Jupiter as of last month. We hoped it would veer off course, but we have been wrong. This one is headed straight towards earth. I work for a small, private sector of NASA and we work on missile defense contracts. Our job is to monitor the sky of missiles from foreign countries. I also work with people who monitor extra-earth orbit objects, aka comets. This information comes from a collected source of what they have expressed and what we have discussed in the past few days. We are nervous, I guess you could say. I'm rather drunk right now. We know something big is coming, and I am not sure how close it will come. All I know is that I am trying to figure out what to do exactly. This comet is expected to hit within 1 month. The size is 22 mi in diameter and would easily destroy planet earth.

I am not trying to alarm anyone, I am simply stating to stock up on supplies and get a bunker going/join a bunker just in case. Probably nothing heh.