When I see poo,
I take it out of the toilet, put it on the table, and I see that there's a bit of diarrhoea lying about on the plate, so I lick my finger and run my finger all over the liquid, scooping it up and put it into my mouth.
Then I look again and on one side where it's been cut, it's all crumbly.
So I take a knife. I think I'll just tidy that up a bit, cut off the crumbly bits, scoop them all up and into the mouth
oooooommm mmmm, nice.
Look at the poo again.
That looks a bit funny now, one side doesn't match the other. I'll just even it up a bit, eh?
Take the knife and slice. This time the knife makes a little cracky noise as it goes through that hard crust on top.
A whole log this time, into the mouth.
Oh the crust on top, and the poo in the middle
ohhhhhh oooo mmmmmm.
But now I can't stop myself
I just take any old slice at it and I've got this great big chunk and I'm cramming it in, what a greedy pig, but it's so nice, and there's another and another and I'm squealing and I'm smacking my lips and I'm stuffing myself with it and before I know
I've eaten the lot.
The whole lot.
So I creep creep creep back to bed, into bed, doze off licking my lips with a lovely feeling in my belly.