But you aren't a girl. You're a boy that wants to be a girl, but can't be. You can't have everything that you want. You can't identify as anything you want. I'm sure some saharan African some where wants to identify as a white European living a modest life in the city. I want to identify as a confident millionaire but that isn't reality.
You are feeling bad for yourself because someone else has decided that they don't want to be gay with another man. You should be lucky that he was willing to experiment with you outside of his comfort zone at all. You are oppressing straight people and demanding that they be gay whilst simultaneously victimizing yourself when others demand you be straight.
No, you aren't a girl. You might find people who want a trappy boy, but people who want a girl will never want you. Especially if you mutilate your penis into a "vagnia". That's disgusting to any straight male.