I have nobody and no real friends to talk to anymore. So this will probably just be vent. I don't really think anyone should respond to this but i've been having a hard time recently. I've always had issues making friends. Although they usually stayed, for a year or two, but I always seem to get unlucky, it's getting worse over time. I used to have at least one person to talk to, I have nobody anymore. It's lonely on your own, huh anons? I guess I still have you to talk to. This isn't attention whoring by the way. This is literally me, just saying something to avoid getting mentally destroyed by this.
All my friends are toxic, aside from one or two, who don't talk to me much, like at all. I guess i'm annoying or something, I don't know anymore. But I honestly can't take another one of these kinds of things. I guess maybe to avoid losing friendships I should stop being so weird and clingy but it's all i can do. My only safe haven has been taken from me, outside i'm the weird one, at home i'm the weird autist who doesn't leave their room, online I don't really exist anymore. I have no one. I wish I could turn back time and be normal and just avoid all of this. But we can't do that, and it's not I could just become 'normal'. It all just keeps getting worse. This post has not been thought out and is majoritly nonsensical. sorry. Anyways, im so fucking lonely. I always try to be nice but nobody ever is nice back. I try so hard. Do I try to hard?
Hell one of my friends killed himself a while back and I guess I never really got over it, I only knew him online, he might be alive, but he was so amazing. And I miss him. I'll always love him [platonically], I've had other friends who just moved away, but when we reconnected there wasn't the same feeling.
Someone give me a hug, I am so touch starved. I honestly probably won't live past the next year.
Lord help me.
Ah well, You might say, 'get help Kal!' well... I tried, and they kind of ignored me. Oh well.