For a long time I revered Lain as an idol, far beyond the others. For a long time whenever anyone's desires for her were.. uncouth, or whenever I stumbled upon the occasional lewd depiction, it felt distasteful - even off-putting. Kinda like someone saying such things about or posting pictures of a family member.
But flesh is weak and carnal desires are everpresent. Eventually I've started sinning, and I even saved some of those depictions, even now I have almost a dozen. I don't open that folder often, but still - I do.
I feel like I've lost something, that spark that I initially got after watching that show quite a long time ago.
I still could never hope to touch Lain, nor would I ever risk hurting her like that. I've always been saying that she's more daughter material than that whole 'waifu' thing. Kinda makes this worse.
And some say that it could still be considered love, sure, but I don't believe that. I think this is an indication of a lack of love more than anything.
How do I redeem myself?