i feel very much the same. i really can't justify feeling down.
the "you've been through a lot, haven't you?" image posted earlier always hits me since i don't really feel like i have, but find that i just act that way as a means of avoiding hardships. it's like i'm putting on a generic emo theatrical for myself by staying in bed, contemplating suicide, and exercising self harm, which in turn makes me feel it cannot be helped that i'm idly letting my life fall apart. i can't shake the thought of being a phony, undeserving of help.
i felt very terrible a year ago, and i did go see a psychiatrist some 3 times, but even then i felt like i was really wasting their time and stopped going. thinking back, i don't know if i ought to have let them know how i felt.
anyways, sorry for just venting an echo. at least there's some comfort in shared sentiment