Please excuse the blog-post-sounding post here, but I feel I have to do this, to clear my own mind:
About a month or so ago I got in an accident that totalled my road bike, destroying the front wheel and damaging the frameset beyond repair. It's gone now, I sold it off for scrap to start to raise money for a replacement frameset to build a new road bike. Done deal. What I'm left with is a TT bike, which is fine, but that's not the real problem. I have asthma and bad allergies, which get worse over time, but that are usually under control, but with all the fires here in NorCal making the air quality absolute shit over the last couple months or so, it's aggravated my asthma to the point where there were days I had to even stay home because I couldn't even breathe normally worth shit, let alone go out and ride hard for a couple hours. It's been kind of a shitty year overall, had my training interrupted during Christmas 2017 by the flu (which also aggravated my asthma severely, took over a month to get back on track), came back stronger than ever, but was broke, couldn't afford to race more than once this year, and now between the accident, and the air quality problems for my resipiratory system, I've lost so much fitness that the one event left I could do (an 18 mile time trial next month) is just not going to happen, even if I trained my ass off between now and then, I won't be at my peak, no chance of winning, I'd likely end up dead last. So that's the point of my posting this: I've been stressing out over it, and posting this here is my declaring "I AM DONE FOR THE YEAR", TT ain't happening, I need to chill the fuck out, "just ride", work on building my replacement road bike, and look ahead to next years' race season instead, getting my training schedule set up for that. So now that I've announced my Intent to the rest of the world, I am committed to that; no more stressing out about an event I'm just not going to make it to. Thanks for listening.