The first time I had an orgasm, I was 13 years old. It was the day that the 1980s Thomas the Tank Engine cartoon first aired. I had seen the first broadcast by sheer chance as a naive young man, and what I saw that day stayed with me vividly for hours after I had stopped watching the television and indeed, has stayed with me for my entire life. When I went to bed that night, titivating visions of Thomas puffed through my dreams and I found my genitalia to be as rigid as Thomas's shiny black smokestack. Oh, that smokestack, squeezing out clouds of white, as did I later that evening. As such, Thomas has stayed with me in my heart for most of my life. I just hope that other fans of the series are as fanatical and as rigid as I am in my devotion to the works of the Reverend W. Awdry. And indeed, when I see a noble steam train chuffing down the tracks, I shall be forever reminded of that day when I firstfell in love with that locomotive.