You know, anon, call me a skeptic, but somehow I don't believe you. So, as a little gift to the people reading this thread, I'm going to go through your post and point out some glaring flaws so that others will agree with me. Ready? Let's go!
First off, I'm very surprised you forgot to mention any non-familial relationships. Normally, if you were bragging about your life on 4chan, you'd say something like "I've got a hot girlfriend!" or "My friends are all jealous of me!". I'm inclined to believe that, while formulating this thread, you simply forgot to include any mention of friends - likely due to the fact that you don't have any, and it wouldn't have seemed that big a deal to you at the time. We'll call this "Item Number One.", and no, responding to this Item with a reply that feigns smugness will not convince me! (Also, nice job on the "Sup" - a very "cool"-sound greeting, to assert how cool you are on the Internet! I'd say I'm impressed, but I'd be lying.)
Let's move on to "Item Number Two". >President of the student government, 4.0 GPA
Usually, when bragging about academic achievement, you'd provide some form of evidence - a screencap of your report-card, a timestamped picture of your Student Government certifications, et cetera. But you didn't. I'm just supposed to take some random guy on the internet's - on 4chan, of all places! - word for it? I don't think so! Next time, try coming up with a more believable-sounding fabrication, like you're an all-A student or your teachers love you. This will help to lend credibility to your overall bluster.
Also, I bet, if questioned on it, you'd pull out the "I'm brilliant but lazy!" card, immediately disassociating yourself from the former, but providing ample evidence for the latter. Maybe that's why you only have a part-time job?
Continued in my next post...