so i kept the writing at an arm's length and reread another of my pieces and you two are absolutely right. There is far more tell than show.
Granted that my general audience isn't the type with depth of experience in literary criticism, but now that I see it, I cannot stop seeing it. What have you done?
I have a lot of academic and legal writing to do this week. I'll try rewriting one of my previous pieces with this in mind and see what changes. Thank you.