It's not just my own death that bothers me, but also how easy it is for others to die. I went shooting the other day, and I still can't shake the weird feeling of how such a simple, easy to use thing could end many peoples existences in a matter of seconds. Not that I don't like guns though, it's just somewhat terrifying to hold your life and others in your hands and realize how light it is. Or rather, the fragility and fleeting nature of humans is terrifying. Everything you ever were or ever will be is nothing but a lump of pinkish grey flesh surrounded by a think shell. In movies or such, they make death seem dramatic, but when you watch actual footage of someone getting shot, and know how holding a gun feels, death just seems underwhelming. It doesn't feel like a world crashing down, as everyone's own perspective more or less is, it just stops. No incredible shit, just a little bang, and it gets cut off. Death doesn't look any different than someone dropping a phone and cracking the screen. Disturbingly simple amd everyday.
I know it's simply a matter of my own personal perspective on everything, but it doesn't bother me any less for that.