Even if things are going right, life is falling into place. I still just feel this void of dissatisfaction, the past year and a half I've done a complete 180 from the shitty, self centered, ego driven, womanizing asshole I was and yet it still feels like a shadow looming over m being. I know weather we like it or not our faults will always lie within us, but atleast we can do something about pushing them away. more than anything I think its just the fact that theyre still in there that scares me, you know? Like that yeah shits all good for the time being but once people start to pull away or youre fucking up that maybe youre falling back into the same old cycle of habits that brought you to your low. I used to smoke pot every day because I felt it was my only friend and because of that I know its taken an effect on who I am as a person. Im burdened with anxiety for shit that shouldnt even bother me in the first place, I cant make others laugh like I used to which brought some light into my life, and I cant find a woman who I really feel I deserve in my life. Even with a 180 I still end up at a dead end and im lost within my own confusion. My roommate and best friend is an amazing person but its so hard to be around him because he cant motivate himself to even leave the appartment most days, my family is slowly slipping away into their bad habits and as I get old I see my life starting to pick up in pace. What if I dont do things right? What if I missed out on the opportunity to make things right? And what if the chances of happiness I have are right infront of me but i cant see them through my own ignorance. Lifes full of questions and its hard to not have all the answers, but i really guess thats what its all about. we wont ever have all the answers, all we can do is look forward and hope we land somewhere good in a leap of faith.
Whats been on your mind /wg/?