there has always been an underlying feeling for as long as i can remember. Like there are good times in my life, but for as long as i can remember i have never felt happy. My mindset when i was a kid was that you must start to feel happy when you get older, then as a teen i assumed it was just puberty, hormones ect. But now i am older, and nothings changed. I know im real fucked in the head, but i dont want to see anyone or talk to anyone, theres a feeling that if i do it'll just get worst. Like i feel i have all the major signs of depression (i self harm, lock my self away, dont like talking to people even though i have friends, ect), but there's that feeling still that it will get better eventually, even though it hasnt.
I just dont wanna feel like this anymore.