I apologize in advance for how jumbled up and back-and-forth this post will be. I'm very good at writing academically, but when it comes to casual writing/speaking, I'm horrible.
For a long, long time now I've been feeling completely purposeless, but not in the sense that I don't have a purpose. Rather that I DO very much have a purpose in life, I just have no fucking clue what it is or how to even go about discovering it. Maybe I just need to wait a little longer, but I feel that if I continue to just wait like I have been that I'll miss a whole bunch of opportunities and end up leaving myself in a ditch. I just continuously feel this pull in my heart to do something great. I have an internal knowledge that I am capable of doing something amazing in my life. I just don't know what it is. I've never been someone who has had many talents. I'm the definition of "Jack of all trades, master of none". I have plenty of interests to pursue, but once again, I'm not sure where to focus my energies. I'm currently planning on joining the US Air Force because I've always had an interest in the armed forces but also because I feel that the structure of military life might help kick my rear a bit. Not only that, but I'll learn a practical skill that, if I don't re-up, will pay the bills and allow me to further pursue a lot of interests. I guess my issue is that I feel super stuck, want to get out, know that I can get out, but have no idea how. Imagine that one level in those old MS point-and-click games where you've been looking for the key for six weeks but can't find it. You've clicked on literally ever pixel but it's not there. You know it IS there, but where the fuck is it? That's my life right now. Thanks, friends, for letting me ramble. You're good people.