Anon, don't fucking put yourself through this shit. This happened to me, but I fucked it up with her, and lost a friend and it fucked with me for about 2 years.
Find a hobby or new people to hang with to forget about it. It's not healthy man. It'll happen one day, trust me. Don't lose hope. I know how it feels, like you're fucking hollow inside and you just don't want to exist.
Life throws wrenches at you when you're fully recovered after a serious event, and it's no different w/ my life. Keep your head up, and live life.