I'm just kinda falling apart, my guys
It's weird to even try to write it out, where would I start
I guess since I graduated college, I have 0 friends. I didn't really have many in college in the first place, but since I pretty much hated everyone in my major (computer science) and made friends with international students, we all scattered to the winds. I kept my girlfriend from college for a year or so, then that fell apart. To try to bounce back and reinvent myself, I started exercising, doing skin-care, reading more, learning an instrument, learning a language, and got invested in my cooking.
It was all bullshit. People say oh yeah totally exercising brought me out of depression, doing this brought me out, NOTHING helped so now after a year I've stopped all of it. It was honestly a relief to have the time back. But now i'm still completely alone and miserable. And recently, some health issues have started cropping up. Persistent pains, eyesight getting worse... it's like my spirit died as soon as finished college, and I'm starting to physically shut down. And I feel shitty complaining about anything, cause my job pays bank and I live a cozy life, but just emotionally, feels like there's no reason to keep on doing any of this.