I'm with you man. I'm not sure if she was your first/first serious relationship but it does indeed suck and I'm going through the same thing. It sucks knowing this will always have a place in my heart. I don't want these feelings to stick with me throughout my life and I hate knowing that the first is something irreplaceable. I can't shake this feeling like I fucked up. All I've ever wanted was a good person to love me like I love them. Guess it's not that simple.