Same but mainly my aunt, for some reason. Cant find it in me to worry about my mum. I worry for my sisters but they'd cope in the end. But my aunt's already lost her brother (i.e. my dad) and I'm about the same age as the baby she lost a couple hours after birth, 20ish years ago. I can't bear thinking about her emotions and facial expression in the hospital's waiting room, at the funeral, the weeks after my father passed. I can't possibly put her through that again.
But I'm having to remind myself of that on a daily basis.