I have ADD and i kinda feel the same way.
Back when i was 16 I lost all my friends due to a drug called Elvanse(and depression probably), it literally made me feel schizophrenic and I lost all emotion for the duration I took it(I was a NEET at the time, dont know if that matters or not). I cut contact with all my friends because I lost interest in them and fun in general. Eventually I got off them and I managed to get it contact with some old friends i hadn't talked to in years. Now I'm 22 and life is unironically pretty good.
But I cant help to think about what had happened if i stayed on those drugs and never got in contact with those old friends....