actually a very same story for me. I've been heavy into drugs for a long time (psychedelics mostly), and as such I knew quite a bit about SSRIs and other depression/anxiety treatments - all of which seemed like a terrible thing for me to be reliant on. All the while, I continued to fall further into depression and my anxiety got worse, to the point where I became a shut in during the second semester of my second year in university.
Finally decided to get help around 6 months later. Was put on a pretty high dose of sertraline and the immediate (4-6 weeks) results were incredible. Anxiety melted away. I felt joy in doing things again. I was able to focus again (for the longest time, I thought I had developed some sort of adult onset ADHD). Most importantly though, I had the motivation to get up in the morning and do whatever I needed to do for the day, whether that be work or go to the gym. I still have a long ways to go before I'm at a place where I'm happy, but to echo some of the sentiments in the thread already - for the first time in what feels like forever I have hope for the future and that makes me truly happy. Have one of my favorite walls, anons. Good luck to all of you.