What do I live for? The best metaphor I can draw is to a football player at practice, driving to push himself past increasingly harder players. When I was young (10> years) I was in a haze, blissfully unaware of how much I was wasting. After that, I made some changes, but nothing major. Some people talk about having come to Jesus moments. I can honestly tell you that they exist. I started making changes to my life dramatically. I went from a small circle of friends to knowing as many people on campus as I could in 4 months. My mile time was 20 minutes, I can now run 4 miles in that time. I used to be 150, mostly fat. I'm now 130, with less than 8% body fat. The first year I started learning french, I set a goal to be able to pick up a girl and eat her out in french in under 6 months. Aced that challenge. My point is, I'm that football player. Amateur hour is over and the big boys are coming. To kill myself or to die would be nothing short of disgraceful considering how much I have pulled myself up. The going will get tougher, the doing will be harder, the players will be stronger. I have one thing going however: They all underestimate me.