Lost my previous ASM job for a month trying to make working conditions better. My (former) good friend ratted me out to the manager that I was going to go over his head, which was something I was allowed to do at that job, but he fired me two days before the big meeting. It uprooted my entire life. He made it impossible for me to get government assistance by lying about the facts of my termination and having HR delete my work email account so I couldn't file an appeal with evidence. It put me in such financial straits but things are looking better now that I'm employed again.
But I lost a friend who I really invested in. That betrayal kinda fucked me up. To cope I've been sleeping with people in a self-destructive way. Recently it's been with this one guy that absolutely sucks at sex but gives me enough attention and allows me to feel like none of my life matters outside of the hour we spend together. I've been so depressed, getting high, drinking, being reckless. I don't really know how to get out of my head and stop feeling so self-deprecating. It's like assholes get everything they want in life while good people wilt in their destruction. Not a good outlook, I know but shit is still too raw for me to feel otherwise.
Pape is literally me as I'm writing this.