We're always "real" humans. 18 is a terrible metric for maturity and I believe that we shouldn't put so much responsibility on ourselves until >25.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3621648/
OP if you were telling the truth and if you're reading this I want to try to convince you to keep some sort of diary. You're in this system that we all are and your life will proceed but try to remember things as they happen, and if you can log them in some way. Speaking for myself, the last 4 years since I've turned 18 have had so many changes for me. I feel MUCH more lucid in my day to day life then when I think back. I feel like I've become a different person and I'm happy with how I've developed. Life has been very hard for me and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it but it's been O.K.
I really don't know man. So much has happened.