1) not a wallpaper by just about any definition you can try to stretch it to.
2) /s/kank is thataway -> >>>/s/
3) granted, OP is rather imprecise in its composition, but> "make y'dick tingle"
is clearly implied to be with arousal, not horrifying terror as it zips up inside your abdomen
But, sure, whatevs. (you) made me respond, so 2 baits/10.