I need to get this off my chest, I am a fucking mess
I've missed a good month and a half of my senior year because I fell into a deep depression I couldn't get out of. I can't afford a doctor to heal my deviated septum as it gets worse through the passing days. I am not sure if my high school will care about that as my the quality of education there is low-grade and trashy. They follow a standard no-less and my scores won't matter in pardoning me. I've missed assignments, skipped days, and otherwise missed a lot of time in school because of how fed up I am with being put in that environment. It's the last two weeks left of my senior year, I have tons and tons of assignments to do, and I am putting it all off; I am out of it, I am stressed.
Though my school is terrible, my teachers care. I feel as though they can tell I am a wreck and offer as many due date extensions as I need. I often get harassed for no good reason, whites really aren't accepted in the black school I've been in for 6+ years ever since recent politics started coming into mainstream attention.
My main issues currently are trying to pardon my days and getting all of my work done. College is around the corner for me and I must fall into their obligation; suffer the exact same stress HS gave you but with crippling debt that won't go away until you're 40. I will probably roll with the Air Force, even though a handful of colleges want me on their campus, I feel as though it's all a trap and you'll learn nothing useful. It's all worth it for that piece of paper apparently.
Since I was a kid, I have always felt lost. I will turn 19 in a week and nothing will change, I still won't know what to do or where to go in my life. Stuck in poverty denying the greedy hands dragging me to the hellhole of higher education.>tl;dr: I am missing about 2 months of my senior year in high school currently and I can't seem to get impoverished ass together. Fuck colleges, might fall into the Air Force.