I liked what you wrote, but I thought the story could be told better. I tried to improve upon it. Here it is:
Its dark, rainy, and cold here on the rooftop. Although I struggle to climbed this ladder, I struggle to find the courage to jump. It almost seems as if I’m supposed to be here. As I approach the ledge, though, I notice something. There’s someone else there. I’m as aware of her as I am of my own being, but she’s just… there. She doesn’t know who I am or what I’m thinking of doing. She's a short girl with long, dark hair. She has headphones on over her ears that glow against the dark cityscape. Even if I cried out, she probably couldn’t hear me. Or anything else around her for that matter. I can't help but stare at her picturesque figure.
"Is she real?" I thought to myself. At this point, I couldn’t tell if I’d lost my mind entirely or if she was a real person. It all seemed utterly surreal. This woman. Her absolute perfection. She stood here, alone, on this rooftop on a night like this.
"Hello?" I called out. She apparently didn’t hear. Maybe I really am hallucinating. She's not real, I thougt, considering my current state. She can't be. She’s too perfect.
As I stand at the edge, ready to say my final goodbye, I think, “Might as well say, ‘Hi!’” Could I be any more awkward? This is why I’m here, afterall.
She may be a girl made entirely of my imagination, but, what the fuck. Right?
I shout. She can’t, or doesn’t, hear me. Maybe she’s just not real. I step a bit closer and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumps when she feels my touch. She spins around quickly, and that throws me off guard. This is an actual person. For once, I’m not fooling myself.
I make my final decision. Her existence doesn’t factor in. I take the leap, and I see her beautiful face as I fall. I see the regret in her face as she fades from my sight. I’ll never see her again. I’ll never see anything again.