Calm, of sound mind, & productive while not overdoing it. Which is saying a lot, because my mind is usually everywhere else but within me as of late (with work and trying to move on up.) The wallpaper represents the melancholy I've always felt but the self growth I've gone through during those times. I'd stare at a wall, random object on my desk, out the window, whatever, and think on my life up to that point, sometimes for a few minutes or even an hour. Just thinking, sometimes not feeling any emotion about anything or about any memories that may have come my way. I wouldn't even come to any conclusions or life lessons I may have learned, just simply remembering and moving on. I guess it could've been my mind sub-consciously going into a mediation mode, I suppose. The music from the top video is the best I can find to represents those moments I described, bottom is for days like today. Where it's not an unknowing/unsure mindset; mindlessly plucking notes hoping to get a nice rhythm going then stopping and thinking "what the fuck are you doing". But instead hopeful, and knowing what I'm doing with my life is leading me somewhere I need to be. Not just for myself but for others I care about, and take care of; Even though I can only give so much being spread so thin.https://youtu.be/a-EtES9sQgo
Sorry for the novel, it's nice to get out what you're feeling and describing it in words, art, and music. I'm an artistic person by nature, but these past two years have been the first time in a few years I've returned to my artwork. Although it's just portrait commissions, not the original art I used to make, it's still something. I also chose the Kalimba to represent the music, because it's something I've picked up recently. I used to know how to play guitar, but due to moving and life circumstances, I had to leave the class I was a part of as a kid. I'm hoping get back into music. Still a beginner, but still trying.