First of all, I'm eurofag, so I'm sorry for my english.
And now... OP, Lemme share kinda similar story with you. I will make it short, hopefully.
I't nearly 3 years she left me. We were together for 6 years, started dating at my birthday. She was perfect. Kinda awkward, big geek, she loved so much stuff I like did.. I knew, she was special for me. After nearly 5 years we moved together to another city (job was the reason). It was great. I mean, I thought so. My 27th birthday was coming, so I wanted to move our relationship even further. I payed for ring and made plan to propose her on my birthday, six years after... She went to visit her parents week before and she came back on my birthday. I was alone in that flat waiting for her. She came with her stuff and cried. I was asking her, what's wrong... well, she told me, that she doesn't love me anymore. I remember that night like no other. I was on my bed drinking whiskey while she was asleep. I wanted to kill myself. Everything was gone.
Because we moved together, I had to stay with her till I got some new place. Those few weeks were hardest in my life. Everyday staring at her, trying to speak with her,... Everytime she left flat, I cried on the floor like kid.
I moved, gave back that ring and that money payed new start for me. It was nearly three years ago.
Since then I changed like never before. Gym is my second home, lost 50 kilograms... I'm there five times per week. I started writing again... poems, novels... They got some attention. But, I'm still alone.
I met her yesterday with another man. I knew about him, they started dating about 3 months after I left. Her fiancé. Yesterday I was stone cold. Realised I would never date her again and end of that relationship helped me like nothing before.
Carry on OP. I'm with you!