I'm not that sort. I've witnessed how stressful management positions are. Some of them are forced to work 7 days a week, I can't be doing with that. I've failed completely. I've put on three stone since January, everything is becoming worse. I spend all my money on cider and shitty kebabs. I even sucked a guy off I met in the pub a few months back for a bag of coke. I feel so ashamed and my mother is too. My Dad fucked off back to Ireland five years ago and rarely contacts me, he has his own family.