I like to read Sherlock Holmes too anon. At least you didn't ask about Mormon Hold Em. >>5135659
You know those missionaries that knock on your door and walk about your third world shit hole? Yeah go talk to them. If they knock on the door let them in and they'd be more than happy to teach you in your own home. They're called visiting teachers.
Other than that go find a church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, walk in on a Sunday and sit down. They'll come to you and welcome you into their family. If you're lucky you'll end up with one of the family's inviting you to court their qt virgin daughter and pop like 12 kids in her.
Mormons love making sexy daughters to become traditional wives. If you're a virgin NEET the LDS church is for you! They'll provide you a job, a house, a wife and all the social interactions and hobbies you could ever want.