it's a heartless job which is clearly killing your "soul" so to speak
it is a task best left for emotionless psychopaths if it must be done at all.
as I said I would rather go to prison than do such a thing. If you are able you should move on from it and find something you are better suited for, but of course that is your choice
whether the authoritarian state you live under will agree with your choice is another matter entirely.