Ignore all shit you previously reacted to.
Aim your protean kick precisely to kneecaps. Wear tip reinforced "safety shoes" with added weight.
Train your upper body as a boxer.
Then, aim your fist at a throat and nowhere else.
Use your elbow to hit your opponent's temple as hard as you can.
Your hardest threshold is to forget your own humanity when you fight for your life For The First Time. Been there done that. It feels like nothing you felt before.>straight throat hit, elbow in the temple>and then some>unreal, unfair, unaccept...
Feels bad. And then it feels good. Really good.