Allow me to tell you the story of the day I found out I was gay. It was summer, 2012. It had been hot a lot recently but that day, the weather wasn't too bad. It was a Saturday, and given the weather was so nice I decided to take a walk. I was wearing track pants and a crunched up tee shirt but I didn't care. Anyway, that was the day my life changed forever. Whether it was by dumb luck or by the will of the cosmos I will never know, but that was the day I met Jeffrey.
Jeffrey was a well-built man, wearing a tight fitting v neck tee shirt, his chest hairs exposed to the world, and a pair of disco pants that looked like they were taken straight from the 80s. Ordinarily I would not think highly of disco pants, but somehow he really did rock them. "Oh, no. mm-mmm, nuh-uh" Jeffrey said. He looked down at me from his glorious 6'4 stature with disapproval. "What?" I asked dumbly. "That shirt, with those pants, on a Saturday?" He questioned. "Fuck off faggot." I retorted, and carried on my way.
I thought that would be the end of it, but I was wrong. Very wrong. Without warning Jeffrey was in front of me, hovering in mid air, his arms crossed against his broad chest. "We'll see who's a faggot soon enough!" I tried to run, but I realized I was floating too. I screamed. I did not realize the gift I was about to receive. Jeffrey began penetrating my mind with his piercing gaze. "AHH! What are you doing to me!?" My mind was melting. I became distinctly aware of how awful my shirt was, and how lazy I had been for wearing track pants. Jeffrey's chest hairs doubled in length. I realized that trap porn is in fact not gay, and there is nothing wrong with liking it. "AHH! My mind! Stop, please stop!" I pleaded, but Jeffrey did not stop. I realized how much I craved cock. When I finally realized how handsome Jeffrey was, he put me down. "Holy shit." I said. "I need to go home and change." Jeffrey nodded in approval, his work complete. I've been fabulous ever since.