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Does anyone else utilise an Egg Pouch?

No.9859268 ViewReplyOriginalReport
Hi /pol/. I was just wondering if anyone else utilizes the genius of an egg pouch to warm your eggs? Right, so, you know when you want to make scrambled eggs or whatever but you go and take the required amount of eggs out of the fridge they're fiercely cold and don't cook so good? Well I discovered that if you warm them up a bit first by leaving them out on the kitchen counter they cook better. But then it went beyond this and I started putting them into my armpits because they warmed up quicker, and it was all good for a while, but it also kind of restricts your arm movements. Well fear no more, because this genius had a plan. So what you do is you take one egg and place it between your thigh and your bollocks and your weighty balls and the normally irritating friction between them and your thigh holds it in place, all the while retaining freedom of movement! An obvious upgrade from armpit egg! So you can do that on both sides of your balls and get two eggs warming. But you need more, who eats a 2 egg omelette? so what you do is you flip up your balls and slot and eggs in between your taint, your balls and your thighs and ta-da! 3 egg warming capacity is achieved.

Why am I making this thread you ask? Well today my family returned early from getting the shopping to find me extracting my warmed eggs from my egg-pouch, and they found the whole thing terrible distasteful and suggested I needed my head examined. I do not however agree with this assessment, and I was wondering if any of you also utilise your egg warming pouch to overcome this problem of cold fridge eggs?