The compromise is really obvious desu. No grid required. Both of these are solvable by just building paved connecting paths between the neighborhoods, and maintaining sidewalks that lead to commercial areas.
The neighborhood stays quiet, no major traffic coming through. Cars still have to take the one bottleneck to exit but is that really a huge issue? It's like 1-3 minutes of extra driving, max.
And it actually encourages walking/biking since it's faster to take the paths than to drive
Seems like a win-win. My neighborhood growing up was bottlenecked like this but it was very permeable, with sidewalks to the main road and a nice trail through the woods, and it served me very well as a teenager with a bike.