The days have started to meld into one again. I thought I'd gotten better. I have one friend that's extremely social that I push the burden of my companionship onto. The only reason he hangs out with me is that he used to know me when I was better. except unlike me, he grew up. Got interests. A job. We have nothing in common now except past memories. It gets awkward a lot but he knows he's all I have. I feel guilty about being a pity friend. I'm stuck at the same place I was left after I got kicked out of college. Regret that so much. Could have just ignored how miserable and depressed I was and sucked it up. That's what everybody else does. Feel like everywhere I look, I see amazing and inspirational people that do perfectly normal things that I theoretically should have no problem doing but I just can't seem to nail it. I don't do anything anymore. I don't watch movies, read books, draw, learn, anything I used to do. I hope I turn out to have ADHD or something while I indulge in my escapism as I wait for this slump to end, but deep down, I think I've passed my prime already and independence showed who I really am. A lazy mediocre weak piece of shit.