>20 yr old male from the UK
First year of university studying history. My course is fine, it is intellectually stimulating, but I feel like my heart isn't really in it, like I am wandering through life with no real motivation. I don't really care about/want a career job. I quite like to write creatively. I appreciate a good book, particularly Steinbeck, Cormac McCarthy, and of course Tolkien. Fantasy novels often disappoint me, I feel there is much more meaningful potential in the genre than banal escapism. Tolkien did it right. I hope to write a good fantasy book one day.
I chose this wallpaper because it resembles how I often feel. At the periphery, separate and watchful. I actually have a good social life, hang out with friends on most days, but that does not really make me feel much less alone.
I feel that I have missed out on the teenage period of young love because I've never had a girlfriend. I know it's just films and TV but all those teenage relationships seem special because at that time in our lives we are normally so carefree without having to worry incessantly about everything. That reckless love is something I feel almost nostalgic for despite it being something that I never had. I've had at least three opportunities to have a girlfriend but each time I've just pushed them away, I don't really understand why but at the time it feels like I can't even stand to talk to them. Maybe I have a problem with emotional intimacy or commitment. Who knows. I'm still a virgin, but have had potential to get laid recently so it shouldn't be too long (how superficial). It would be great to have a girlfriend, man I get so lonely sometimes.
I love dark souls.