Sorry about the length of this post.
About a girl who I fell in love with. At a completely wrong time...
I was with another girl, a beautiful loving girlfriend. who never did anything wrong to me.
But somehow, I noticed that I was falling for this girl. She always listens to my twisted thoughts that no one else seems to care about.
About life, about the ocean, and stars. She was my confidant, my partner in crime.
I was falling and I knew I had to avoid her. I don't want to hurt my girl, she never did anything wrong. But every time I think about not talking to her, my heart aches so damned bad.
I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend, but I cant contain what I feel. In the end I decided to tell my girlfriend, and we broke up. And wanting to be fair, I met her and told her my feeling on the same day.
Her hands were shaking. The three of use were close friends... Me, her, and my ex.
She got angry, and tried to avoid me. But after a few weeks we got back in touch. we tried to bring everything back together.
There are days when we somehow fall to sweet conversations, but she would always seem depressed the next day.
But she never speaks her heart out anymore, not how we used to.
Until one night, we had another conversation, we talked like how we used to, I felt so damn good yet somehow sad at the same time.
And then, she told me that she feels guilty.
That back then, she would asks her self why I had to be with someone else.
She poured her feelings out for one last time.
Said sorry she have to be selfish, and asked me to leave.
For her sake.
Damn I was gasping for air. Hearing the she felt the same, then why it won't work.
I felt I could keep her beside me, but would cause her pain even more. And I can't take that. I can't take it after she said it that way.
But I still can't just let her go just like that.
So I made a promise.
That one day, after time had healed everything. I'll find her again. And when that time comes, it would be my turn to be selfish.