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How to Fight the Lonliness

No.7646574 ViewReplyOriginalReport
Hello,

I recently started a PhD at a university very far from home in the states and I have an apartment all by myself.

I spend long hours in the lab with a girl who is also pursuing her PhD and we work together really well. The advisor has taken notice of this and put us together for some of the long term research we will be doing.

I just don't think I can do it though. This girl has a bf who has rich parents and spoils her with stuff, and I absolutely hate being around her because of how much I like her. Like me she also comes from a poor family and I don't blame her for being attracted to a guy who has it all, but it is killing me to have to see this girl every day.

I avoid personal conversations, but she always brings them up. What my interests are, what music I like, and she just so happens to like all of the same things.

Have you ever not wanted to be around someone because of how much you like them, and because you know you can't have them.
This has turned into torture. I don't even want to date her, I just want these feelings to go away.

It doesn't help that covid has kept me from all other activities, and she is literally the only other student I have talked to at this university. Just us in a lab, all day, everyday.
Anyways, I am going to post some of my favorite pictures, I have been on this board for all of my undergrad collecting papes. No theme, it will just be random. Sorry if some are reposts.