I used to be in love. Childhood sweethearts essentially. Ironically, at the end, we saw this movie, and it brought tears to my eyes, but strangely she didn't like it.
Soon after that night, she left. I was at my breaking point- personally, professionally, academically. At some point during that time, I watched this movie again and bawled like a child for hours, just feeling things that burned my soul.
Then, after a time, I met someone new. They weren't perfect, but I liked her enough, and while I'm ashamed to say it and would never do so except anonymously, I really only started dating her to try to forget. Figured a few weeks or months couldn't hurt.
Unfortunately, my rebound was just at the beginning of 2020, and since last March we've been more or less living together. What started as something simple- a bandage to ease a deeply bleeding wound- turned into a far more long term relationship.
I love her, too. You can't live with someone this long, and help them through their own issues, without that. But while I love her... I am not in love.
Recently, we watched this movie. And she enjoyed it. But while watching I couldn't help but think about the one I loved, and wonder if I would ever feel that connection again.
I suspect not.